TEMPERATURE is all RELATIVE
(think in Farenheit)
60 above zero:
Floridians and Hawaiians turn on the heat.
People in Manitoba plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians and Hawaiians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Manitoba sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Manitoba drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Manitoba gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Manitoba throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Manitoba have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die.
People in Manitoba close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico or Hawaii
People in Manitoba get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
The Girl Guides in Manitoba are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Manitoba let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Manitobans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Manitoba start saying..'Cold 'nuff fer ya?'
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
All public schools in Manitoba will open 2 hours late.